Moominn Vs Machine
by bignastyshrek
Summary: When the mercenaries find out that Gray plans to mobilize his robots in Moominvalley, they need to roll out and defend the valley with all their might! Hilarity ensues between the mercenaries and the Moomin characters. Rated T for violence.


On a late evening, having just finished an espionage mission, Spy gathered the team to the base. Gray's robots have been running rampant recently, and they needed the upper hand on where they would attack next.

"Gentlemen." He begins, pacing the floor and smoking a cigarette. The entire squad, along with Miss Pauling, are all sitting around a table in their base. "We have successfully infiltrated Gray's base and found out where he will be sending his robots next."

Miss Pauling, a good friend of the squad, ponders. "Yeah, where will he be attacking?"

"Yeah." Scout adds. "Come on, I'm dying to bonk some heads. It feels like forever since I beat up some robots."

"Shut up, boy." Spy continues, and Scout sinks back down in his chair. "Anyway, where they are attacking, we do not have much information on. We will need to head to the site directly and study the area."

"A field mission?" Sniper is quite excited. "Haha, nice. It's been a while since I've been on one of those."

"Affirmative!" Soldier shouts in his militant American voice. "Let's turn them into scrap metal!"

Medic takes a look at Spy's paper and adjusts his glasses. "It looks like the locals call the place Moominvalley. We will be departing in the morning to warn the residents." Medic commands, and Spy nods.

Meanwhile, in Moominvalley, it's a beautiful spring night, with not a cloud in the sky. Moomin is hanging out by Snufkin's tent with Snorkmaiden while Snufkin is fishing.

"Oh my…" Snorkmaiden says, looking up at the stars.

"What is it, Snorkmaiden?" Moomin asks, looking at her.

"The stars are so beautiful tonight." She continues. "Isn't it so beautiful living out in Moominvalley? I can't stand the city. There's too many buildings and smoke and it's hard to see the stars!"

"I agree with you, Snorkmaiden." Snufkin chimes in. "I've been travelling for years now and I still haven't found a better place to visit than Moominvalley." He continues. "By the way, I have heard rumors about what will happen in the near future."

"What is it, Snufkin?" Moomin asks, concerned.

"I heard that robots are coming to Moominvalley. Automated beings who run on electricity."

"Why are they coming to Moominvalley?" Snorkmaiden questions. "Are they dangerous?"

"I think we should keep our guard up." Snufkin continues. "From what Snork and Mr. Hemulen have told me about robots, I don't think they'll come in peace."

"That's terrible!" Moomin is quite concerned. "We've got to warn everyone!"

"I agree, Moomin." Snufin comments. "Let's head over to Moominhouse right away." With that, the three of them gather all their friends and scurry to Moominhouse. Eventually, everyone is there. Snork, Mr. Hemulen, Little My, Sniff, Moomin's family, and everyone. Once everyone is gathered, Moomin stands up and greets them.

"I'm glad you all could come on short notice." Moomin welcomes everyone, and a very tired Sniff rubs his eyes.

"I don't see what's so important…" Sniff complains. "I was just about to sleep!"

"Snufkin, why don't you explain the rest?" Moomin asks, and Snufkin stands up and looks at him.

"I'll be glad to, Moomin." Snufkin then faces the audience. "Friends, I've heard rumors that robots will be coming to Moominvalley soon." As he says that, the crowd murmurs. "However, I don't think there's a need to be alarmed yet. Just be careful until further notice." He continues.

"Robots?" Snork is clearly upset. "What do you think they want with us?"

Snufkin shakes his head. "That I don't know. Just make sure your doors are locked at night and that you don't go to sleep without a weapon in the room." That slightly reassures the crowds that everything will be alright. "That is all. You're free to leave now." At that, they disperse back to their respective homes, still quite confused at what to expect.

Moominmamma approaches Snufkin. "Thanks for the warning, dear. But I believe it's far too dangerous to stay in a tent if robots are coming like you say they are. Do you mind sleeping in the guest bedroom in Moominhouse?" She asks.

"That will be great, thank you Moominmamma." Snufkin responds. "I'd say we should build barricades, but I don't want to worry the folks here. Besides, it's far too late."

"That's right." Moominmamma continues. "Well, we should be getting to sleep." With that, Moomin and his family, along with Snufkin, decide to turn in for the night.

At the dawn of next morning, the mercenaries and Miss Pauling begin their trek towards Moominvalley. They took a boat to get there and continued the rest of the way on foot.

"Aye, this place looks quite charming." Demoman says, appreciating the beauty of Moominvalley. Heavy nods in agreement.

"Whaddya suppose Gray wants with this place, anyway?" Engineer asks, and everybody shrugs.

"My guess is materials. Look around you, there's raw materials everywhere." Pauling speaks.

"Mmhmm." Pyro nods. He looks around and loves the beauty of Moominvalley as well. Of course, Pyro's vision is distorted, so he sees beautiful things everywhere.

"Well, would you look at that?" Soldier comments as he notices Snufkin's tent. "I think we found one of the citizens here." He peeks in the tent, only to see no one there. "Huh. No one's inside. It looks like we beat Gray here, but still. We'd better warn the citizens, wherever they are." With that, the group of them continues on their way before Scout notices Moominhouse.

"Uh, guys?" He comments, seeing it in the distance. "I think I see a building. I'll run ahead and check it out." Spy nods to him, and Scout runs up ahead, brandishing his baseball bat. On his way, he notices Little My running around outside. "Yo, what's up?" He asks the child, but the child does not respond. Instead, she runs away terrified in the direction of Moominhouse.

"You'll never catch me, robot!" Little My shouts, half taunting and half frightened for her life.

"Hey, what the crap?" Scout is confused. "Get back here and say that to my face!" He runs up ahead, chasing her down, clearly not having thought twice about his plan. When he finally catches up to Little My, he is right in front of Moominhouse. He does a lunge at her then grabs her with his hands, causing her to scream. "Yo, shut up!" He commands, but then a group of angry Moomins storm out of the house armed with various weapons. Little My bites Scout's hand, causing him to screech and let her go.

"What are you doing here in Moominvalley, robot?" Moominpappa demands, pointing his gun at Scout.

"I'm not a robot, I swear!" Scout is distressed and trying to get up off the ground. "We were coming here to warn you about them, honest!"

"Oh yeah?" Little My butts in. "And why were you chasing me around?"

"I-I…" Scout is speechless. "I'm not a robot!"

"Now hold on there, papa." Moominmamma pushes him out of the way and runs to the Scout on the ground, holding his hands. "This one isn't a robot. He has skin."

"Are you sure about that?" Moomin asks. "We can't be too careful."

"Well, he may not be a robot, but he's still mean." Little My shrugs, agreeing with mama. Just as she says that, the rest of the team runs in, weapons out.

"What are you doing to Scout?" Medic demands, rushing over to them and shooting Scout with his medigun, restoring his health.

"Thanks, doc." Scout smiles at Medic, then quickly gives Little My the evil eye.

"Anyway, we came here to warn y'all." Engineer approaches them, wrench over his shoulder. "There's gonna be some robots coming down here any minute now, and you'd best be prepared."

"Oh, well my friend Snufkin already told us." Moomin says, as Snufkin stands forward, introducing himself.

"Hello. My name is Snufkin, and I do know of the robots you speak of." With that, the rest of the mercenaries and Miss Pauling introduce themselves.

"Oh, it's lovely meeting new friends." Moominmamma says, quite excited. "I'll go in and get us some tea."

"There's no time!" Soldier shouts. "We need to arm this place to the teeth, and fast!"

"Oh, Soldier." Miss Pauling shakes her head. "We've already come all this way. It would be rude to refuse their offer."

"Oh, fine." Soldier looks down. "But I'm not really one for tea." Moments later, Moominmamma has her tables set outside, with plenty of tea for everyone.

Medic takes a sip of his tea and smiles. "Oh, this tea is quite the taste. Thank you very much, ma'am."

Moominmamma blushes. "Oh, I'm glad you like it, Medic. By the way, may I look at your… strange weapon sometime?" She asks, confused at what exactly a medigun is.

"Oh, you mean my medigun?" Medic asks, pulling it out. Moominmamma nods. "Why, this is an incredible work of ingenuity! With this, I can do in seconds what would take other doctors months! I can even simulate a beating heart with this!"

"He's right." Heavy chimes in. "I had open heart surgery from him, and never needed anesthesia thanks to that gun."

"That's quite the tale." Moominpappa comments. "Now, you're Russian, correct, Heavy?"

"Yes, I am Russian man." He states, before noticing Moominmamma bring out sandwiches. "Oh, sandvich make me strong!" He picks one up and starts eating. "I have PHD in Russian literature."

"Oh, so that means you've studied Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky, correct?" Moominpappa asks, and Heavy nods. Meanwhile, Scout approaches Little My.

"Yo, umm… Sorry about that whole thing earlier today." He apologizes, kind of embarrassed about the situation.

"It's alright, Scout." She responds, smiling mildly. "Say, how'd you learn to run so fast anyway?"

"Hey, that's what it's like being the youngest of eight boys. My brothers used to always get to fights before me, so I trained myself to run until I could get in a scrap before them." Scout smiles and holds up his bat again. "Hey, are those more of your friends?" He asks, noticing Sniff and Snorkmaiden arrive.

"Hey, Moomin." Sniff smiles, waving at him and noticing the 10 new people (9 mercenaries + Miss Pauling) sitting down with Moomin's family. "Who are your new friends?"

Moomin responds with tact. "Oh, these are the mercenaries. They're going to help us fight the robots."

"That's right." Soldier adds. "Whenever Gray and his robots come by here, we'll give 'em what for!"

"Wow, you sure seem like you know your stuff on weapons." Sniff comments, impressed at Soldier. "I'm Sniff, by the way. Where are you from?"

Soldier smiles, ready to tell another soul the struggle of being in the military, or at least how he sees it. "The heartlands of American, son. And yes, I do have quite the experience with my weapons." He holds up his rocket launcher. "You see this bad boy? I took her to Poland with me back in World War II. Killed Nazis there for years, I did. Ah, but I remember it all like it was just yesterday. You like medals, Sniff?"

"Yes, I love medals and gold!" Sniff is obviously entranced by Soldier's remark.

"Well, son, listen to this. When I came back home, my hard work was rewarded, and I received numerous awards!"

"Yeah, that you made yourself." Engineer sarcastically comments, only to be shushed by Soldier.

"Shut up, that's not important! What matters is that the Nazis were stopped!" He continues and smiles at Sniff. "Anyway, let's enjoy this tea."

And that they do. But their joy would only last a moment longer. Very soon after Soldier's conversation, the ground began to shake. Several gray-looking mechanisms were seen in the distance.

"It's the robots! They're coming!" Moomin screeches, starting to panic. "What are we going to do? We should have prepared!"

End of Chapter 1


End file.
